The pink roses that sprouted on the side of our newly purchased home, a reminder that He hears my heart in my novena to St. Therese.
The simple sounds that come from our daughter as she rises, new life!
The middle of the night baby cries that jolt me awake yet remind me of the gift of this new life and stretching of my own heart, a mother’s intuition invited to sanctification.
The simplicity of my day in which I can listen for Him in the small gentle ways, a pace He ordains.
The nursing school period that required a lot of me which resulted in me never really fitting into traditional nursing to now being a mother to a babe with medical needs, skills and perspective that brought peace for our family in a new season.
The reality that no suffering or act of love for Him is wasted.
That the way in which I choose to live in service and charity for my family is more important than any career, achievement, or status, nothing that the world could tell me.
The beauty of my vocation unfolding in His time, not mine!
The continued hope of new life with a new lens and deeper trust, infertility remains yet His heart has made ours new.
The beauty that fruitfulness in a vocation is not limited by our own minds and hearts, rather broken open by our giving the limits we have to Him.
The elongated wait for our home study to be completed that formed my mother’s heart to receive with patience, tenderness, and hope, all virtues necessary for the gift of motherhood.
The hearts of many who have ached, hoped, and rejoiced with us, the gift of community.
The smile of our sweet girl when she hears my husband or my voice, attachment and great love mixed together.
The way in which our daughter’s oxygen requirements have slowed our pace and allowed us to be still, the Lord ordering our days, not us.
The brave and loving “yes” our daughter’s birth parents chose in placing her in our home, an incredible sacrifice and unfolding mystery of love that I look forward to explaining to her.
The seeds planted and fruits already present from my father’s death in our family, friends, and adoption.
Lastly, His not answering my prayers in the way I imagined or hoped allowed for more space, time, and love to be forged between Him and I. (He can’t love me any more than He already does, so these have been and are opportunities for me to love and choose Him more.) These unanswered prayers establish a new way of talking, a deeper trust in His sovereignty and goodness, and most of all an ability to be painfully honest with Him which broke through pain and suffering and allowed for deep healing and renewed strength in Him. Thank you Jesus, for all the past, present, and future unanswered prayers. I trust You are always working for our good!
Thoughts for Prayer:
What are some areas in my life that I have been hoping and praying for yet remain unanswered in the ways I imagined? What would it look like to bring these areas to Him and ask Him what He thinks of these hopes?
What is the disposition of my heart when I come to Him about these areas that have required my waiting or suffering? Is it sad and despairing or trusting and peaceful? What may be tempting me to turn to sadness or despair over remaining in His peace?
“We know that all things work for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 How might He be using this time of waiting and/or suffering for His good? Are you open to asking for the eyes to see, ears to hear, and heart to receive? There are miracles happening all the time and yet many of us choose not or cannot see them. Ask for the grace to receive them with an open heart and He may just surprise you!
Know of my prayers for you, always!
Thea